Sideways
by Dreadl0cked
Summary: Jade and Tori do their best to understand each other but in their new friendship confusing feelings sprout. Jori! T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Victorious.**

**First fanfic on this site so tell me what you think. Thank you! Enjoy :)**

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Jade

Her hair draped over her shoulders and her eyes were soft as she laughed with the group. I watched her eat her salad but not in a creepy way. No I was just pondering her existence, just trying to figure her out. She came out of nowhere and took our breath away. I hated that.

Tori just slipped into our group so easily it was almost mesmerizing.

I used to be mesmerizing. There was a time when people would come up to me once every week asking about my writing but now they only wanted to hear her sing. Hell, even I wanted to hear her sing. She had a throat like a tidal wave that crashed into you in the most powerful yet softest way. It was disgusting.

Tori turned her head to me and caught my eye. She smiled softly and lifted an eyebrow so I quickly jerked my head away. I hated when people smiled at me. What were they so happy about? Out of the corner of my eye I see her lower lip jut out in a tiny pout before she turned back to the group.

"You and Jade were so cute in that play!" Cat almost sang while twirling a lock of hair on her finger. "Thanks cat. It wasn't all that bad after our, uh, date." She blushed, "I don't know about Jade but I had fun." I scoff. She looks towards me as if she wants some sort of response. I squint and sip my coffee, "Sometimes when I'm around you people for too long, I imagine spooning my eyes out. " Then I grabbed my things and left. I hear Rex say, "Can someone spell bitter?"

I open my locker and begin to switch out books when I notice soft footsteps behind me. I sigh dramatically knowing exactly who it is and hoping she'll take a hint. She doesn't. Instead Tori leans on the lockers bordering mine stealing beck's signature stance.

"Hi." She says quietly looking at me. I stay silent. Her eyes are burning holes in my flesh as she studies me for any sign of emotion. My body stays firm even though my self-esteem is slowly crumbling. It's been like this since she showed up. This whole inferior complex, yea, I never had it until now. Suddenly when I'm around her or she's singing or I even _think_ about her I feel insignificant. I take one more sip of coffee before saying, "Do you need something?"

"Are we ever gonna talk about this?"

"I'd prefer if we didn't" I shoot back as I slam my locker and turn to leave. As if she'd expected it she simply falls in step with me as I head to class. Part of me wants to apologize (a very feeling for me) for everything I'd done to her. But I don't. I just walk.

"So where's Beck? Normally you guys are inseparable." Tori asks breaking the silence. "We broke up." Her head quickly turns to me and her eyes bulge out so much I imagine them jumping out of her head. "It's really not a big deal this time. We just realized that the relationship had run its course so put your eyes back in their sockets."

We happen to have the next class together, English, so we walk in side by side. Class hasn't started yet so she sits next to me until the bell rings. I can feel her eyes on me. "Like what you see?"

"Yes." She replies. I can feel the redness creeping across my cheeks but I keep a straight face. "Fag." She kicks my seat and laughs, her entire body shaking like a happy earthquake as she does. It doesn't annoy me like it used to. Then the bell rings and she's gone but I pretend not to mind when my eyes fall on a note where she sat just moments ago. I peel it open and read,

_I'm sorry. We'll have to face it sometime._

The paper suddenly feels heavy so I drop the dead weight into my bag. I know she was right. Tori was always right. It wasn't supposed to happen that way but it did and nothing can change that. It was on our playdate after we got away from those creeps. We were eating and talking for what seemed like the first time. She was telling me about some sappy Nicholas Sparks movie while I was trying to teach her something about real romance.

"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is one of the only romance movies I like so take notes. 1. It didn't have all that gooey shit in it. It was raw, it was real. I mean they did things couples do but it was completely different from rom-coms. They could live without each other they just knew they didn't want to." She rolled her eyes as I preached, " 2. It represents the type of love I want, quirky and strange but still beautiful. Even having their minds erased couldn't keep them apart."

"You just like how twisted it was!"

"Well that too." We both laughed and I wrapped my pinky around hers. I didn't even notice what I was doing at first. It was such an innocent action for someone so far from innocent.

Tori must have noticed that too because her smile grew so large I wondered where her face went. She was probably just glad I was being nice. Extremely nice seeing as I even offered to drive her home.

After our actual performance I asked her if she wanted to grab some food. "A little celebration for a wonderful scene." I called it. She smiled and accepted like I knew she would. She laughed at all my jokes even though most were at her expense ( I even said I hoped her next boyfriend got small pox.) Despite my snarky remarks she giggled annoyingly and did her best to hide her excitement.

I guess neither of us could.

At the end of the night she looks me in the eyes, puts her fingers above her lips as a makeshift mustache, and uses her man voice to say, "You're so good. How could you love a sappy, weird, idiotic, hopeless romantic loser like me." Then I kissed her. Or she kissed me. Or maybe we just kissed each other. Either way it happened and I couldn't shake my smile as my body caught on fire.

Yea, I know we'll have to face it sometime.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey Thanks for all the follows and favorites! And your input is appreciated. I don't know how many chapters I plan to do in all but there will be 10 at least :) Enjoy!**

**I do not own Victorious**

Tori

English dragged on forever. I did my best to tone down the staring so I wouldn't creep Jade out but my eyes kept drifting on back over to her pale features. She was just so beautiful. There's this really weird part of me that wants to tell her that eveytime I see her but she has a short fuse so I could see that annoying her _very_ quickly. I stole a few glances at her subtly but apparently I'm shit at being subtle because I soon got a text reading, _"Quit staring Vega, you'll dry your eyes out."_ Closing the message I blink a few times and turn away.

There are only 2 more classes after English and neither are with Jade. In chorus I was singing off key, lost in Lala land while in song writing I rhymed "green eyes" with "full of lies". She was taking over my life. Jade had this way of doing absolutely nothing and still driving me crazy. So I did what Tori's do best. I was nice to her. I quickly learned that is not exactly the way to win girls like Jade's heart. So instead I was persistent because at least she could respect that.

I never let her get me down for too long and I tried (and often failed) to hit her with comebacks that even she'd be surprised by. Although I did feel a bit guilty for being so excited that she and Beck are over. I mean, Beck's a great guy. God knows he must be since he was able to put up with her jealousy and temper. The thing is I was better for her.

My phone vibrates and I see I have another message from Jade.

_Busy after school?_

_Not really why?_ I reply.

_We're hanging out. Meet by my car._

Even though I don't appreciate the bossiness of the text I know this means she's trying. And trying for Jade is a lot to be thankful for. I send back a quick 'ok' and head to my locker.

Trina runs up to me and starts to shout in my ear. Once the ringing fades I can barely make out, "Date tonight. Kinda. I mean, he never really asked but I know he wants to sorry find a ride home BYE!" before sprinting off in the other direction. Andre, who was apparently behind me the whole time, says, "Well damn, boys make Trina act like my Grandma."

"You have no idea." I say simply.

"You wanna catch a movie? We could invite the rest of the gang too if you want."

"Oh, sorry I can't! Jade asked me to hangout." Andre looks at me quizzically. His eyebrows rise up to meet his hairline, "Jade who hates you?"

"No, Jade my friend. Well, it's a work in progress and I'm actually making her wait which we both know she hates so if you don't mind." Shutting my locker and turning to leave I hear Andre shout after me, "I'll pray for you!"

I waited next to her car (A hearse oddly enough) doing homework to pass the time. Not long after she strode towards me, unlocked the car, and said, "Well? Get in."

"Where are we going?"

"Just wait and see." She started the car and peeled out of the parking lot making me very glad I buckled up. The drive was fairly quiet except for when I tried to start conversations. I'd say, "How was your day?" and she'd say, "Well I'm not dead." I'd ask what she did today, she'd say, "I tried to subvert the patriarchal paradigm." Every answer was short and sarcastic but I didn't mind. I was still just glad she invited me out.

We pulled into the driveway of her gigantic house. One could say it was a mansion but I had a feeling Jade would stab that one. Sometimes it seemed like she was ashamed of that big house that only one person _really_ lived in. She led me down to her room which surprised me. I mean, I'd been in Jade's house before but she never let me in her room. She said she didn't want me to infect it.

Her room was dark as expected. She had barbwire across the head of her bed (dangerous) and skeletons on her shelf (gross) but what surprised me was the wall of photographs. I hadn't seen a single picture in her house until now. There were a few family photos, some shots of Beck and Cat, even one of Robbie.

One in particular caught my interest. It was from the day Jade had come to help me clean the stage after faking her black eye. After we'd snuck out I'd stolen Jade's phone and convinced her to take a picture with me. She did so reluctantly. I'd never seen it after that but now that I did it made my stomach flip a little bit. I was smiling straight at the camera while she…she was staring right at me. Almost like she couldn't look away.

"Like em?" She asked.

I slipped out of my thoughts and simply nodded. She just smiles, "I've always believed what they said. 'A pictures worth a thousand words.' Too bad all those words are lies." She sighs. I try to ask her what she means but she turns the TV on jumps on the bed. "Come lay with me…please." She says the last part so quietly I almost miss it. So I slowly climb onto her bed and lay down. She breathes out like she's been holding it in. Jade moves closer to me and runs her fingers up my arm.

"So …should we talk?"

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A/N:

Thank you again! If you have a chance to review and want to ask for something to happen or have an idea just let me know. I'll make sure to credit you. Alright have a good night everyone!


	3. Chapter 3

**HEY! So this chapter was actually hard to write. I couldn't get it exactly how I wanted it but I hope you like it nonetheless.**

**I DO NOT own victorious**

Jade

"WELL FINE! SCREW YOU!" Tori screams as she runs out the door. I think about chasing her but my legs are too cowardly so I stay put. One second we were talking about that night and how we might have a future together the next she was running from me just like my mother leapt from my father's drunken hands. It's funny how much we all have in common. Tori and my mother both smile like they've never heard bad news in their lives while my father and I share a secret scowl molded by everything bad that has ever happened to the world.

This is why instead of apologizing I take a bottle of Jack Daniels up to my room just like my father would.

I turn off my phone to keep the drunk calling at bay. Then I choke back the Jack Daniels as quickly as I can to get her taste out of my mouth. It had happened so fast.

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_ "Jade, I'm going to talk, okay? And I know what I'm going to say will scare you but just try to relax." Tori's eyes look deep into mine searching for the ok to continue. I nod and she sighs, "I love you. It's terrifying, trust me I know, but it's very real. It's happening. I am falling in love with you."_

_ My face stayed in a hard line. What are you supposed to say to that? I've never been in love with a girl how am I to know if it's any different. Beck was simple. He was hot and easy and I knew that I loved him. I mean I knew that chemically I loved him. With Tori it's something different. Like it isn't just a chemical reaction, I can feel it deeper. Like if I had a soul, I'm sure I'd feel it there._

"_I think I might love you too…maybe. Definitely. At certain times. Like right now. And always." I say, letting my eyes stray anywhere but near hers. _

_ After a second she wraps her arms around me tightly and squeals. Not like a pig though, more like a puppy. It was an innocent, less annoying sound. She kisses me softly but I pull her in a bit longer. I can feel her smile before she pulls back. "This is great! But wait, uh, Jade?"_

_ "Yes?"_

_ "Do…do you want to be my, like, girlfriend or something?" She drops her hands in her lap and plays with her fingers. I don't know why the question shocked me. I mean this is what people did right? They fall in love and they date. It was normal._

_ I wanted to say yes. Every fiber of my being wanted to scream at her YES YES YES! And yet all I could think was no. No because there are only 3 ways a relationship can end._

_ We break up; we're no longer friends and I will miss her uncontrollably._

_ We get married; we're forced to spend the rest of our lives together which leads to us growing to hate one another. _

_ We die; that's it. That's the end. No more Tori, no more love. Just blackness._

_ "No. I'm sorry. You should go." I say coldly before standing up and opening my bedroom door._

_ "What?"_

_ "I said I don't want to fucking be with you! Now get out!"_

_ "Why are you being like this? You just said-." _

_ "GET OUT YOU WORTHLESS SLUT!" And then she's crying and I'm trying not to and we're both confused but she just runs away._

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And now here I am. Lying smashed on my bedroom floor trying not to cry. So I do what drunk Jade always does. I sneak over to my collection of scissors and find my favorite pair. Using all my strength to lift my wobbly body I drag myself to the bathroom. I sloppily peel off my shirt and look in the mirror, disgusted by what I saw.

Then I slide the glistening steel across my porcelain stomach.

One day, Tori will be glad I let her off the hook so early.

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**A/N**

**Reviews are appreciated! I don't have a strict storyline so if you wanna throw me some ideas I'll work with em :) And I'll make sure to credit you!**

**Have a nice night!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey Guys! I hope you like this chapter. It's bit longer and I actually really like it. Thanks for all the reviews and favorites!**

**I DO NOT OWN VICTORIOUS**

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Tori

I wake up feeling even worse than the night before. Crying takes a lot out of a person so I use what's left of my energy to walk to the bathroom. It is a horrendous sight. My eyes are puffy and red, my face blotchy from crying for so long. They were angry, heartbroken tears. Normally I could handle rejection. I know I might seem weak and petty but I've handled enough break ups to be fairly numb to this pain.

But this was not some dumb ass guy. This was Jade.

"Tori?" I jump at hearing my name. I quickly spin around and see Trina standing in the bathroom doorway, a confused look on her face, "What's up with the crying and chizz? You ok?"

"I'm fine." The words taste like a bitter lie but it's a flavor I have a feeling I'll be getting used to. Trina doesn't move but her smile gets a little wider. I sense something is about to happen and I suddenly notice her hands behind her back. "Trina wha-!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" She shouts whipping a small purple cupcake out from behind her back. I look at her dumbfounded and quietly curse myself for forgetting my own fucking birthday. Wiping my eyes a final time I take the cupcake and wrap one arm around Trina whispering a thank you as I do. Jade will not ruin this day for me.

I move to my bedroom and pick out an outfit. I decide to not dress up too much but I don't want to _look_ like I was just dumped either. Well, I guess not dumped. It's not like we were ever together. No- I will not think about her anymore. This was MY day. Not Jade's. After getting dressed I run back to the bathroom to curl my hair and put on makeup. It doesn't take long and soon Trina and I are out the door.

We arrive just a couple minutes early so I quickly jog to my locker in order to get my things before first period. Shit! First period...with Jade. I put my forehead on my locker and swear under my breath.

"Heeeeey Birthday girl." Andre sings as he puts his arms around me from behind. I can't help but smile as I turn around to meet his eyes. "Whatcha mopin' around for?" He asks.

"It's nothing I'm fine." I say pulling on an almost fake smile, "So. What did my amazing best friend get me for my birthday?" He laughs and unzips his backpack. "For the pretty lady." I snatch the present out of his hand eagerly and rip it open. Tears well up when I see what it is.

A moleskin notebook with my name inscribed on the cover. But that's not all. The paper inside were all blank pieces of sheet music. "It's for you to keep all those #1 hits in." Andre says before I wrap my arms around him in a rib breaking hug. "Iloveyouohmygod!" I yell out.

But my excitement is short lived. From the corner of my eye I see a black figure. As I wipe away the happy stray tears I see her face completely. Jade seems as cold as usual but even worse because she also seemed fine. She didn't even look as if she were bothered by seeing me. Not like I was bothered seeing her. But hey, she is a hell of an actress. Soon the bell rings so Andre and I run to Sikowitz's room.

It was one of those days when our own teacher decides to skip so most of us just sat around a talked. Jade was in the front typing one of her new plays on her laptop. Andre and I sat in back with 2 other girls Nicole and Lily. I should mention that Cat, Robbie, and Beck are nowhere to be seen and I quickly grow worried. "Where is everyone?" I ask turning to my friend.

"They're on a mission." He says. I try to ask what he means but he quickly continues with the previous conversation. When the bell rings I speed out of the class in order to get away without seeing Jade. Luckily she wasn't in any of the classes I had before lunch so it wasn't so nerve racking to try and study. But when that final bell rings, the hunger sets in and the anxiety takes me over.

Lunch. How am I supposed to handle lunch?

I wonder if maybe Andre and I can make our own table but when I get out on the quad he is already sitting next to the pale girl. I sit down next to him and avoid her eyes. Except, of course, for the staring. I might've done that a bit.

Then suddenly I hear a squeal and a flash of red before 6 arms wrap around me. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TORI!" They shout in my ear. Soon I recognize their goofy faces. Cat sits on my lap and hugs me even tighter. "I got you the best present ever! Will you please open it first? Please?" She begged. I nod and she jumps off of my lap to grab a box.

"Open it! Open it!" Her smile takes over her face and I laugh. I open the box and find a small kitty with matted fur and flies above it. "See now you can have your own, ya know, CAT!"

"How long was that thing in there?" Robbie says.

"I dunno like 2 hours." She says nonchalantly, "Do you love it?"

"Oh I do Cat it's just that I don't think my parents want any pets. We have a Trina." I reply with a small pout.

"Oh that's ok! We'll just give him back to the old guy who drinks from a bag behind the gas station. I like him cause he doesn't wear shoes." Cat says still giggling. A little grossed out; I put the cat back in the box and push it away. Then Beck hands me a little envelope. I open it and find a $50 gift card to Nozu. I stand and wrap my arms around him giving him a small peck on the cheek as I pull away. Jade shifts her weight slightly but stays quiet.

"Now I guess it's my turn." Says Robbie. He hands me a brightly colored bag with pink tissue paper. Staring up at me as I take out the paper is a girl version of Rex. "I call her Rosie." He says.

"I call her hot!" Rex adds.

Although it's a little strange I hug him (and Rex) because I know that it came from the heart. We all sit down to eat and for a bit I forget all about Jade. I fade into the usual conversation with Cat and try my best to enjoy such a wonderful day. And then she grabs me by the wrist and pulls me into the school.

"Jade-"

"Shush." She says once she pushed me into the janitors closet, "First off, Happy birthday." She pauses and waits for me to say something but my eyes are glued on the ground.

"Ok well, I wanted to say that I think you're really…great."

"Great? You think I'm great? Funny, didn't seem to think I was so great when you called me a worthless slut." She flinched but only slightly. Then she was calloused again.

"We both know that we wouldn't have worked out." She replies.

"You didn't even give it a chance!" I yell, "You know what Jade? Fine. I'll leave you alone. Do the same for me." Reaching for the door I'm pushed back and Jade's hand slams the door shut. She doesn't say anything she just stares at me.

I look her over and see that her shirt has ridden up a bit. Butterflies erupt when I see her pelvic bones but they die when I see fresh red cuts on her stomach. She sees where I my eyes are and quickly covers up.

"Jade what are those?"

"Goodbye." Jade opens the door and leaves. I try to follow but Andre and Cat insist on me walking them to class.

It's then I realize how hard I've fallen. If those are what I think they are then I plan on kissing away each fleck of pain left in those broken green eyes.

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**A/N**

**Review please! I don't know how long it'll be before the next update but hopefully soon. I'm starting to get a bit busier with school and such so...**

**Thanks for reading :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello there friends :) I hope you like this chapter. I'd love if you reviewed but if you don't have time that's all good. You're all amazing!**

**I DO NOT OWN VICTORIOUS**

Jade

She saw them. These private red incisions were seen by the one girl that made me wish I could put down the blade. I'm not a surgeon and yet I still decide to do minor procedures on my body just to try to cut out the tumor of hate hiding inside of me. Honestly I could care less what she thinks of me, that's not what scared me. It's just that I know her and I know that she'll blame herself. I don't want her to do that.

The blackness of the sky is covering me. The only light is radiating from the cigarette hanging limply from my mouth. I inhale. This is another form of mutilation. I get to choose how bad it hurts me. Sometimes I swallow so much smoke my chest hurts but other times I don't even take it in. I just let it burn.

Today I hold it between my lips and let its light decide where I walk. My car is parked down by my house. At first I was planning on going home but then I chose to wander through what's left of the forest by my house. Most of the trees were replaced by houses but there were still some areas that society had left unscathed. I liked to hide there on bad days.

Suddenly I feel my pocket buzz so I pull my phone out finding a new text from Tori reading,

_I take back what I said. I won't leave you alone. I'll always be here whether you like it or not. XOXO_

At first I smile. Tori had a way of making me do that even when I didn't want to. But then that god awful feeling comes back. The guilt. You see, the chances of me hurting her are just way too high. It's something I can't risk.

But Jade if you love someone you can always find way to fix it blah, blah, blah. Yea I know. The problem is there are things you can't fix. I hurt Beck in ways I wish I hadn't.

On that last day together I told him all about Tori. I told him about how I felt when I was with her. That look on his face, that pain in his eyes, it will haunt me forever. But Beck is an amazing guy so he forgave me. He said he understood.

That's the problem. Beck and Tori must be masochists because I could do horrendous things to them and they'd still forgive me in a heartbeat if I asked them too. That terrifies me. Everyone thinks I'm an evil gank but they don't even know the half of it. If they did I'd be hospitalized. Where my heart should be there is a mirror because I can reflect myself onto people. I can make them see themselves for who they really are.

I can make people feel worthless. And the worst part is… I love it.

There's a sick adrenaline rush I get from crushing people's dreams. I've tried to wrap my head around this disgusting concept but I only get more intrigued. I only get more lost in this disease that plagues my mind. That's why I cut myself. There is a scar on my body for every time I've hurt someone (and for every time I liked it.)

A full moon now lights my way back home. It's late and I have school tomorrow so I decide to cut the runaway short and head back. "I'm home." I say to no one as I open the door. On days like this I wish my brother was still here. He would come running up to me, shouting my name, asking me to play. I'd always say no. I'd always ignore him. Days like this make me wish I hadn't.

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School drones on endlessly. Every so often I turn around to peek at Tori who gives me a soft smile. It burns away the ice in my veins but then the guilt is back and my blood freezes over once more. I get lost in my heartbreak when Sikowitz shouts, "JADE! Up on stage! Cat, you too." Cat's smile broadens (as if it were possible) and bounces to the stage. I move slowly stomping my boots on the way.

"Now, you're both lovers." I roll my eyes, "And Jade has trouble committing. Cat you're trying to get her to accept your love. The rest of you can feel free to jump in for either of the girls whenever. ACTION!" He yells slurping from his coconut.

"No! It'll never work." I turn away from Cat as I begin to invest myself in the role.

"Why not?"

"Why not? Seriously? How can you be so stupid?"

"The only thing that makes me stupid is caring about you. But that doesn't matter anymore. I know we can last if you just give us a chance. Why can't I be enough for you?" Cat begins to fake cry and I move to wrap my arms around her. "Shhh. Darling, you will always be enough for me, but I will destroy you. I can't say I'd break you because that would imply that you could be fixed. The effects I will have on you will be irreversible. Sweetheart I will demolish you."

Tori stands up and taps Cats shoulder allowing her to leave. Cat's tears are replaced with a smile as she sits back down. "I don't care about being demolished. I'm a big girl I can handle it."

"You don't understand!"

"No you don't understand Jade!" And suddenly this was no longer a scene. "I care about you too much to let you think you are anything less than spectacular. Don't worry about harming me because honestly it's what I want. If by the end you haven't hurt me then it's because you didn't care enough to try. So break my heart, love, rip me apart so I know it's real."

Although it's cheesy her words make butterflies, no fuck that, it makes the entire zoo erupt in my stomach. We both lean in a bit but we're stopped when Beck taps my shoulder. I can see the disappointment in Tori's eyes and I know they're dripping from mine. Slipping out of my trance I go sit down.

Beck cups Tori's cheeks, "I think I'm ready to show you how much I care." Then they kissed. And I exploded. Before they even pulled apart I was out of the classroom slamming the door behind me. I've always known Beck had a thing for Tori but I thought that after I confessed my love for her he'd back off. I guess I was wrong.

I get in my car as fast as I can but before I can peel out of the parking lot I get a text from Beck.

_I won't let you hurt her. She doesn't know you like I do. I'm better for her and we both know it._

I throw my phone down onto the passenger seat and slam my fist into the steering wheel. How dare he try and rip her from me! How dare he take away the last reason I wake up each morning!

How dare he…how dare he be right!


	6. Chapter 6

**Short chapter. Its just kinda filler but it leads to really important stuff. I hope you like it anyway.**

**_I DO NOT OWN VICTORIOUS_**

Tori

My lips burned from trying to scrub Beck off of them. It wasn't so much that I didn't like him. In fact, a few months ago I would've been thrilled to have his mouth smashed all up on mine. But now there was Jade. I mean she was always there but now it's like hurting her is impossible. Unfathomable.

Yet I end up doing it once a week it seems.

I'm having trouble getting that look on her face out of my head. It was a mix of hurt and anger but there was something else. Something that resembled understanding almost like she had been expecting this all along. That's what killed me.

Part of me was mad at her. I mean I was relieved to hear that she still wanted me but I was mad at her for giving up so easily. She's seriously convinced she could break me. The sweet fragile girl façade I put on really shows how amazing I am at acting. I have her believing that I could snap if I was kissed too hard. What she doesn't see is that worse things have happened. Trust me; I could handle a little heartbreak.

When Beck kissed me it deflated all the hope I'd puffed up in me. She was starting to see it my way. She was leaning to let me in, to let me help. Then Beck came crashing in with his perfect hair and sloppy kisses to dismantle what we'd started to build. Although I'd done nothing the trust had been broken. Our moment of intimacy had been smudged and dirtied.

She wasn't answering any of my texts so I took my mom's car and drove to her house. I wasn't going to let her give up without letting me explain first. She's Jade West! She can't just give up.

I knock 3 times and wait. I can hear boots dragging across the hard white floors. I hear something else being dropped on the floor before a flash of raven hair blows in front of me and suddenly Jade stands with her arms crossed ahead of me. I can tell she wants to intimidate me but all I can notice is that her eyes are puffy and her cheeks streaked with tears. So I lean in a give her a quick peck on the lips. She tastes like coffee and suddenly I want everything in the world to taste that same way.

"No." She says dryly before turning away from me, slamming the door shut.

"Oh no you don't." I slam my foot in the door and force my way through, "You're going to listen for once you stubborn ass." Her eyes widen at my sudden bravery and she nods in approval.

And then there's silence.

My throat is on fire. There are so many things I want to scream at her. I want to tell her she's an idiot. I want to say she should never even think I'd let her go that easily. Then I want to yell about how much I love her. I want to explain that it's true that I'd get over her but I don't want to if I don't have to. Yet nothing comes out.

So instead I force my lips onto hers and slip my fingers through her hair. Jade kisses me back hard and I realize this is a conversation in it of itself. We're both trying to make a point; she kisses hard enough to break me while I return the attack with soft touches across her neck. She pulls me in hard and bites my lip as she moves back. I refuse to let her win. I trace her jawline with my lips and whisper the only thing left to say in her ear, "I'm sorry."

I hadn't done anything wrong but I was sorry that things turned out the way they did. I was sorry that everything is shit and things never work out. I'm sorry she felt like she had to do this on her own. It's quiet when she wraps her arms around my waist and begins to cry. I hold her while she sobs, yelling about her brother and how she could've saved him. She says something about his birthday but I can't quite make it out. Her body trembles like an earthquake as I try to calm her.

"I loved him and now he's gone. Dad shouldn't have been driving so fast. He's gone. He's gone." She chokes out. My arms are wrapped around her so tightly I_'_m afraid she'll pass out but I can't bring myself to loosen my grip.

"Tori…I was just about to kill myself." It is then I notice the gun she'd dropped on the floor behind us.

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**A/N**

**So in the next chapter we'll find out more about Jade's brother and trust me it isn't as cliché as it seems I swear. We'll also find out some things about Tori you wont want to miss so be on the look out. I will update fairly soon :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ok so Honestly this is a shitty chapter and i'm really sorry. I didn't have inspiration for this really. I do have an idea for the next few chapters so hopefully this doesn't completely ruin the story. I'm almost done with this fic!**

**I DO NOT OWN VICTORIOUS**

Jade

Tori finally got me to stop sobbing enough to tell her what happened. It was hard to explain really. I'm a writer, you'd think I'd be able to tell this story well but it terrified me too much to try and word. But I did my best.

It was just a normal day. So I didn't think to say I loved him or make up a stupid story for him at breakfast. Besides Landon was being annoying as usual. He kept saying, "Jaaaaaade. Guess what?" Then he'd lean in closer and whisper, "Screw you." Then he'd die laughing.

Oh… I guess that was shitty wording.

Anyways, he was a normal 10 year old boy. Talked too much and chewed with his mouth open. I loved him of course but we were siblings so I got tired of him sometimes. Other times were great. I even let him brush my hair on special occasions. He had a knack for fish tails.

But that day he wasn't braiding my hair. In fact he wasn't even looking at me. Landon was as stubborn as I was so when I took the last of the Cocoa Puffs even though I'd known he'd called it that morning he'd decided to not talk to me. Being me, I returned the attack with a silent front of my own. We were running late because of the fit he'd thrown so dad was going a bit over the speed limit. I should mention that my dad has a charger and he loved to go fast so when I say "just over the speed limit" I mean "we should be arrested"

Landon still wouldn't talk so I said, "Landon could you quit being a fag for 5 seconds?"

"Dad! Jade's being a cunt!"

"You can't say that you little shit."

"Oh but you can call me a fag?"

"I'm 17 you're like 5."

"Screw you Jade!" He yelled back.

"Both of you cut it out now!" Dad screamed. When he turned to look back at Landon I decided to mess with him a bit. I grabbed the wheel and jerked it a bit. It was just a joke. Something I did all the time to freak Landon out. Nothing bad had ever happened before.

But my dad was too freaked to see the truck behind us when he slammed on the brakes. The force of the stop plus the impact from the truck sent us flipping down the street. I blacked out for a while.

I woke up in hell. There was blood everywhere and people yelling. Doctors rushed around me trying to stop the bleeding. It was the most terrifying experience of my life. Then there was darkness once more.

When I woke up for the first time after surgery I could feel something awful in the air. It smelled like death. The doctor came in with his head hung low. When those words left his lips and hit me just as the truck had I suffered a blow unlike any physical pain.

His funeral was a week later. My father wouldn't look at me then and he doesn't come around now. He just sends checks and calls every once and awhile. I don't mind it really. I killed his son.

Tori kisses my forehead and brings me in, "I don't know what to say but they're always preaching about how actions speak louder than words so I'll just take care of you for a while, dear." She rubs my back and cradles me in her arms.

"Jade, bad things happen all the time to everyone. I know it's shitty to say but there are things you have to get over."

"Please Vega tell me one thing you had to get over." She scoffs.

"You really wanna know?" She asks. I nod and laugh expecting a sob story about her cat dying or something.

"I've never liked parties much but Trina talked me into going to one a year ago. Our parents had said no so we had to sneak out through my window. It was pretty shitty honestly. The music was too loud and the guys were sleazy. But the worst part was him. He kept handing me drinks and I didn't want them but he was so nice I couldn't resist. He kept kissing me and rubbing my thighs. Then he took me upstairs." Her voice grew soft.

"At first it was just making out ya know? But he got more intense and I didn't know what to do. I tried to say no but he was so much bigger than I was. Eventually I couldn't fight back and he got what he wanted."

"God Tori. I'm so fucking sorry." I hug her back and begin to kiss the places tears are falling.

"It's okay. It was my fault. I shouldn't have snuck out."

"No. None of that was your fault." I say. She looks into my eyes and smiles weakly. I kiss her again before leaning on her shoulder as she stroked my hair.

"Did you tell anyone?"

"About the rape? No. I didn't think it mattered." I shudder at the thought of him touching her and feel an intense pain at imagining the unnecessary weight on her shoulders. I wanted to share that burden but I didn't know how. I think for now we both took comfort in sharing secrets.

We now held our own secret storm. But we would weather it together.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey Guys! I know it's been awhile since I updated so i hope you really like this. I've decided that this is it! The last chapter. I have some ideas for other fics so I'm going to start on those. Thank you for reading. This was my first fic and I really enjoyed writing it**

**I DO NOT OWN VICTORIOUS**

Tori

*Two months later*

"TORI!" Trina yells from the bathroom. "I borrowed your razor to shave my-"

"NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW!" Jade snaps. I look up at her and smile as I cuddle into her shoulder. Andre, Cat, and Robbie sit at the table placing bets. Things were getting a lot better. It was a rocky start but we all grew into this relationship. Cat was instantly in love with the thought of us together while Robbie took a bit of convincing before he saw it wasn't a joke. Andre swears he knew the whole time.

Beck…Beck doesn't come around much but he's never cruel. He still smiles and encourages our performances but I would hardly say we're friends now. Honestly I miss him. But I understand that he needs his space.

Jade and I are happy. The beginning was rough. Jade wasn't sure she could live with her own guilt. There were nights I worried that she wouldn't be there the next day. She was just terrified that I couldn't see that what happened to me wasn't my fault. So we decided to go to therapy together.

Jade is now moving forward. I wouldn't say she's happy but she hasn't cut or talked about killing herself in a month or so. I realized that I am not a slut. I said no. HE is the monster here. HE is the disgusting one. It was really scary but we even pressed charges. He only got 3 in prison with a year of probation. Jade was furious. If I hadn't held her back she would've ripped his throat out. I was just glad there was some amount of justice here. Even if it was disturbingly low.

Cat squeals and I come back to reality. Jade places a soft kiss on my forehead before putting in all her M&M's.

About a half hour later the gang leaves and Jade and I are alone. Well I mean besides Trina who is always home on a Friday night. We go up to my room and put on a movie. We don't watch it though.

Instead I kiss the length of her spine and memorize every inch of her porcelain skin. "Tori?"

"Yes, love?"

"Do you want… I mean, do you think we'll stay together?" I can feel her heart beating as I lie my head on her back. "I refuse to say yes or no. I want to. I want to wake up to you every morning and make love to you every night. I want to buy groceries with you and do taxes. I don't care. I just want you/ And in case you haven't noticed I tend to get what I want."

She turns around and pushes me onto my back. She gives me feather light kisses before I realize she is crying. "I want you too." Then she lies down and falls asleep. Her breathing is slow and rhythmic.

Nights like this remind me of why I love her. It's something I could never forget.

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**A/N**

**I guess that's it, you guys.**

**Thank You for reading!**


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